Towards-Tomorrow

Please?

I feel so incomplete!

Heart Vacancy

Gold Forever

Warzone

All time low

Glad you Came

Chasing the Sun

I’m actually taking it seriously this time. 

Tape measure, logs and aching body. EVERYTHING!

Honestly, it never used to bother me. It was always “oh, i’ll get to that! Maybe the summer? I don’t know, depends!” Today, it hit me like a ton of bricks. That its happening.

I mean who I am today is built around that one thing. The other day we got into the topic and I teared up. I know. I know. Silly of me right? It just hurts, a lot! Knowing, perfection is so far out of reach. 

I mean before I could shake it off. Not worry too much. Just move on like everything else. Not this time.

To most people reading this post they will be confused. It’s written that way for a reason so don’t worry about it.  

How dare you? 

Honestly, though. You are her best friend and you just….UGH! I can’t believe you hurt her to the point where she was tearing up. The strongest girl I know, broke. All because of you and your lies. 

I hope you achieved whatever it was you wanted. It must have been important to hurt your BEST FRIEND/SISTER for it. 

If there’s anyone I feel sorry for it’s you, you lost an amazing person as a friend. 

I just want to click that refresh button. 

New school. New friends. New life. New me.

I want to fix everything that’s wrong right now.

I wish life were that easy though. To just quit when it gets hard and open a new page. To keep refreshing until you end up with perfect results.

In a new school with new friends I could be a different person and no one would know. Know about my past, or my mistakes. No one would judge me based on someone else’s opinion. I would be happier knowing that if someone was nice to me, it was genuine. 

I’m just not good enough.

It’s simple. I screw things up a lot. I can’t find the right words, do the right things. I need reassurance, I’m strange. I’m not good enough for anyone. Not even me.